The Power of Crystallising Ideas Into Words
Writing down and / or vocalising the ideas that are “floating around” in the mind crystallises something vague into something concrete. Writing / vocalising can be a wonderful exercise, for it is only when we are aware of what ideas are held / believed, that we can examine and transcend them. I’ve also found writing and speaking can help “move” any energy that feels stuck in my throat or gut.
Below is what arose as I began putting words to the ideas that were floating about in the mind, in relation to my boyfriend Alex smoking a pipe. When I noticed a tension beneath the breast, I wrote down the words that arose in association with Alex smoking. Tears came as writing happened, along with a sense of relief, and a realisation.
Thoughts:
I am frustrated because you are smoking
Smoking is bad
You are not being responsible
Why are you so nonchalant about this
Why aren't you agreeing with me
I feel like I’m going crazy
Why can’t you see what I see
You know smoking is bad for you
You know it is an addiction
How are you fine with having an addiction?
Don’t you want to stop?
I don't want you to smoke and you are smoking
I want you to do what I want you to do to make me feel comfortable
I am so much more comfortable when you don’t smoke
I want you to admit to me that smoking is not healthy and that you are going to stop
I don't feel like you’re being honest with yourself about your addiction
I am frustrated because I don't feel you're being honest with yourself or me about your addiction
Why do you not care
Do you not care about your body?
I don’t understand
Am I the one that is not seeing this clearly or are you not seeing this clearly?
You say it’s not bad for you. Really? Are you in denial? Or am I not seeing things clearly?
Realisation that brought about peace:
It is the mind’s need to know whether smoking is healthy or unhealthy, and whether Alex is in denial or fully aware, that is causing this upset. It is clear now that it is not only possible to find peace without knowing why — but there is great joy and frivolity in not knowing the answer to these questions (or any question) and instead being in a state of openness, where anything is possible and nothing is decided upon.