Talking at vs With

Talking at someone comes from an internal agenda; talking with someone comes from shared presence.

When talking at, the attention is primarily on what the mind wants to say, prove, explain, or release, and the other person becomes the surface the words land on. There is little openness/space, and listening happens only long enough to prepare the next sentence. 

Talking with is participatory; attention includes the other person as part of the moment. There is responsiveness, and no resistance to the conversation 'changing direction'. Words become an exchange rather than a discharge.

Those who are naturally open can find themselves receiving conversations that are being delivered 'at' them, as they confuse another's readiness to speak with connection. With time, there is recognition of this pattern, and a gradual movement away from conversations that do not include mutual presence.