Responding to Emotions

I have found that emotions are made up of two parts; energy in the body and energy in the mind (thoughts).

When I experience an emotion, focusing upon the energy in the body first has been the most natural. If I resist the emotion's existence (ignoring, diminishing, defending etc), I experience resistance on top of the emotion, which I find much less peaceful than being/flowing with what is happening.

I find feeling the energy move through/in the body - perhaps its heaviness in the heart or a rush of energy upwards - is not unpleasant. The energy may be dense or heavy, and then, as breathing happens and I continue to be with the energy, it dissipates.

Once the heaviness/density has lifted, I find 'thinking about the thoughts' is the next step I normally take - essentially, exploring what happened.

I often do this with Alex, and you are very welcome to do this with me, but when you would like to explore on your own, the following prompts may aid you.

• Consider the context of the situation

• Identify what was observed - the raw data

• Identify the story or stories about what was observed

• Consider what the ego made important, or took seriously

• Consider what may be done in future, to approach a similar situation differently

Example:

• Context: I was talking with Alex about something

• Observation: Alex's eyes looked away from 'me'

• Story: Alex isn't listening, doesn't care, thinks I'm going on, cannot concentrate

• Ego: What I'm saying is important, I should be listened to, Alex should focus more (none of this is true)

• Next time: When I notice Alex changing his point of focus away from 'me' when 'I' am speaking, ask him what he's experiencing, instead of making assumptions and reacting to those assumptions. Also, if I notice a reaction within me, for example, annoyance at Alex, be truthful about the experience, instead of pretending it's not happening.