Relationships
Everyone else
Most of life is made up of people who are not labelled as anything specific. These are people met in passing, in public spaces, in shared environments - 'everyone else.' This section explores how these encounters are often shaped by a sense of separateness, and how the same moments can be met differently when 'what is' is seen directly.
Examples:
Unknown
People are treated as strangers, or 'estranged', because nothing is known about them.
Through the role
'Stranger' becomes equivalent to 'unknown.' Not knowing a person's story, interests, lifestyle, fears, or hopes is taken as not knowing them. From this position, a sense of separation is present. There is a belief that knowing details is required in order to generate a feeling of closeness.
Through connection
What is seen is that only the story is unknown. The lack of information does not equal lack of connection. Most human experience includes fear, hope, dreaming, uncertainty, desire... It is not necessary to know the specific content of these in order to know that they are present as part of being human. Knowing another includes knowing this. The other is met as a fellow human being.
Inattentiveness
A person is encountered that does not appear to offer anything to 'me'.
Through the role
Rather than becoming someone to me, they are no one to me. Attention withdraws. There is a lack of engagement, subtle dismissal, or a sense of them being peripheral to what is happening. Because there is no defined relational focus, there is also little felt responsibility or recognition. The presence of the other is not fully registered. They appear somewhat lifeless in experience. Inattentiveness towards people can be mirrored in lack of attention towards objects, animals, and 'nature.'
Through connection
The other is met as they are now, rather than as someone defined in relation to 'me.' Love, connection, or a sense of care can arise spontaneously, not based on relationship or function, but as a natural openness to what is present.