Speaking Truthfully

Dishonesty is often not done maliciously.

Most of us are simply so normalised to dishonesty, that we are blind to it.

Not saying what we mean, or not meaning what we say, is an expression of fear — fear that our preferences and experiences aren’t reasonable, aren’t acceptable, aren’t normal.

These fears can be unmasked as attention is paid to all words spoken — noticing anytime a word is said that doesn’t map to what is actually being experienced. More accurate words can then be used.

Here are some examples:

What is said — Is this what is actually experienced?

• Well, I better let you go — I’m ready to go / would like to do something else now

• I’m fine — I’m frustrated

• It’s alright for some — I’m envious of what you’re experiencing

• You shouldn’t do that — I don’t like you doing that

• That’s not funny — I don’t find that funny

• *Laughs* — I feel uncomfortable